Anyways, we are reading through chronologically, so as you can well imagine we have been reading about the sheer STUPIDITY of the Israelite's for a long time...I mean months of hearing about how Israel turned away, got punished, God showed them mercy, they came back for a little while and then off they went again chasing this false god and bowing down to that idol. Come on really? How in the world can a people group be so blind? How can people who started off so strong be swayed by the most trivial things? I mean I know us women are fan-freaking-tastic, but come on Solomon did you really need 1,000?? My poor menfolk have to deal with Mom and I on a daily basis and sometimes that is just too much Estrogen!
It is so easy as a bystander to sit back and point my finger at this people group and judge them for walking away from God. Especially at the beginning when they ended up wandering the wilderness for 40 years because they didn't trust that the God who parted the Red Sea and provided food and protection for them everyday would deliver them into the land which He had set aside for them. They SAW the water part, and witnessed miraculous things, but they let their fear override reason and as a result they did not get to enter in. Like I said, as a third party I can see clearly their mistakes and judge them for it. I have been shown very clearly though that I am Israel. How many times has God manifested himself in my life in just awe-inspiring, amazing ways and in my next breathe I am expressing worry or fear? Every day I wake up, especially lately, and think about all of the things that I am scared of. Oh my goodness, my bank account is getting dangerously low, how am I supposed to survive when I go back to school?? Or my body is just not cooperating, what is going on?? Am I going to be able to do what I want to do or be who I want to be?? I allow Satan to throw my struggles and fears in my face and I try to fix everything myself and by my own strength. God is faithful and He has promised that as a child of God that He is ever mindful of my needs. Does freaking out about all of the things in life fix anything? Why do you think phrases like, fear not for I am with you get repeated over and over and over again in the Old Testament. Israel was frightened..there were so many uncertainties in their life, they were in a strange land surrounded by strange people and the natural human response was to freak out and as a result forget who's care they were in. THAT'S ME!!
Granted, I do think that the Israelites went a little far in their rebellion..I pray that I don't start worshiping a god who requires child sacrifice...but I know that I am just as moronic as they are when it comes to trying to achieve things myself and truly trust that God will take care of me. So far this summer I have had to trust that God knows what He's doing and truly rely on Him, which is how it should be. Everything has been going wrong, and my poor Mom has had to deal with many a breakdown, but after I calm down and I quit my little pity party I get a peace and I have full faith that ALL things work together for my good. Every month I have a bible verse that I make my theme and pray every morning, this month it's:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
" And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
This has certainly been relevant to my life lately. God is good, and I know that He has everything all figured out even though I don't, and you know what?? That's probably a much safer reality, the world would be a scary scary place if I had life figured out...
One last thought:
Sometimes pain's the only way that we can learn-Lyrics from Unspoken's Who You are
